I need help removing her.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
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