I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Randomize
