he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
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