Say something about gay babies.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
