just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
