I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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