we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
