my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Randomize
