that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
