She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Randomize
