see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Randomize
