so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
