he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
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