went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
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