Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize
