When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
My breasts were aching with rage.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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