I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
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