So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
No stitches, just platelets and will power
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
