Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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