I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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