He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Randomize
