I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize