If i come over, it means nothing
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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