He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
We need a shit load of segways right now
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
