My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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