He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
