so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Randomize
