I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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