tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize