don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
