so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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