I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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