it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
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