you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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