Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Randomize
