got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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