no, he came in my armpit
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
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