Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
This is the prime rib incident all over again
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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