You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
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