nut hugger
i think i have herpe
just one?
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
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