you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
