Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
