I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Randomize
