I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
