my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
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