Your face is a jimmy john
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Green mimosas i think yes
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
