YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
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