Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
