Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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