airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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