dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
