he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
