Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Randomize
