I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
