grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Randomize
