you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
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