it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
