I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
