I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Randomize
