he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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