We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
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