I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
