At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
