Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Randomize
