Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
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