so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
