If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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