oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Randomize
